8 Comments
User's avatar
Leanne Shawler's avatar

Wow! This worked really well. Even especially the run-on sentences!

Zy Danielson's avatar

Wonderful story, Vesper. Thank you so much for working tirelessly to share your heart and riches with us here on Substack. ❤🙏

Vesper L. Rayne's avatar

thank you very much Zy❤️

Layla | The Fiction Forager's avatar

Beautiful. Love the way the setting feels like a character in its own right. So much depth and history evoked in a short amount of time

Vesper L. Rayne's avatar

Layla, thank you very much for your comment, it means alot that you read it & enjoyed it!

Joshua Bader's avatar

As always, wonderful. I could feel the rain catching me as I wasn't fast enough back to the car.

Martin Maenza's avatar

Ah, young love. Pitch perfect, Vesper.

Josi Sofer | PNR Fiction's avatar

This was everything I wanted it to be.

"The Duster moved with them and Marvin Gaye kept going and the storm rolled east toward nothing and the cotton fields were dark and wet all around them and David — seventeen, wiry, mismatched eyes, boots on the floor somewhere, his grandmother’s stone warm against his sternum even now — said her name once, the way you said something when words were all you had left."

Nailed it (hahahaha)!